you're my { symphony } of destruction.

[madeline]

<sub>you're my { symphony } of destruction,

I can't cope anymore - and if I can't cope its nothing to what my friend is going through.

maddie's reason for going: maddie is busy at work, working over time with 25new horses to break in. Oh and she has to do her special tafe presentation tomorrow (a school thing) also I'm leaving to spend time with my neighbour, she is perhaps having the worst patch she's ever had. I feel sorry for her, the poor little baby. and what's the worst is she won't look at me the same, she won't talk to me, she doesn't trust me - she trusts no one, I don't get it, but she's just turned. But I do know enough...

the neighbour: she's fourteen, a horse rider normally the most bubbly girl ever.
Wednesday was perhaps one of the best days of her lives, she went to her 18year old friends house, a person that is the sweetest ever - well perhaps. She loves him, even though she's heard he's sexually assaulted some people.
She stayed there the whole day just her and him - he didn't touch her, unless you include tickling, holding her upside down and running through the house, ruffling her hair and a few simple hugs.
I better cut this short.
She has another friend, a 15year old boy, they are or were really good friends, but this boy is really cut at her "how could you go to his house - i told you what he did to my girlfriend - I know what he's done to other girls - are you a massive slut - do you want him to assault you." I mean to say its not my neighbours fault if she loves the 18year old - right, its these blasted hormones.

When she was at the 18year olds house she was pondering whether to get a little high have a little smoke or two but she said no - thank god. she said to him "nah i never cry - unless I'm frustrated"
my neighbour went home, found her guinea pig dead and started crying. then she found out her closest friend who is 26 is leaving work on tuesday - she won't see her again. my neighbours words "she doesn't even realise she's my closest friend - she doesn't even realise she knows more about me than my own mother does."
So my neighbour went out and bought her friend a going away gift, at least she gets to say goodbye on tuesday - WRONG.
tonight (thursday) my neighbour got a msg over facebook from her friend "you're going to hate me - I'm leaving tomorrow" my neighbour replied "are you fucking serious - I hate you - i hate you." then she tried to drown herself in the shower for half an hour (wow I rhyme!) but no she kept on breathing.

I'm freaking out for my neighbour - she seems to be falling on the verge of drugs or suicide. I think she's trying to plot a way to wag tomorrow considering she has to do a 40minute speech, her years worth of work and she hasn't started.

she's screwed.
that's why she's my symphony of destruction...

I'm taking time out because this is falling heavily on me - my neighbour is like my little sister, though nicer because I hate my little sister - massive slutty bitch.

I'm screwed too, I carry the world on my shoulder and perhaps the moon in my womb.
-shoot me,
but don't try to fix me, because I'm not broken.

--I suck at cutting things short</sub>

[/font] [/blockquote]

[zo dearest !]

We will miss you...and I hope for the best for you too to make things better together. Time will mend it and we hope to have you back in the future.

[madeline]

thanks zodi <33
well things have gotten worse.
she did have a smoke, now she wants more.

her brother found out about her hanging with jarrod.
her brother wants to kill him.
she's not allowed to see him anymore or talk to him anymore.
she's crushed because she loves him.

well anyway, I'm going to try and make my return.
I have 7more days of full time work.
then I have about 8weeks off work,
though I will try and get a part time job,
so that'll be only like, 4-16hours a week. (:
I'm making my slow return.